8 Sarcastic one liners

• When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

• If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

• My job is secure. No one else wants it.

• Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?

• My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

• People who write "u" instead of "you". What do you do with all the time you save?

• I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

• Oh... I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business...